Tag Archives: Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman, All The World Is Counting On You

 

Yeah. I look juuuuuuuust like that. Mmmhmm. Yep.

 When I was a little girl, I used to pretend I was Wonder Woman. 

First of all, she wasn’t blonde.  This was of supreme importance, because at that point in my life, your attractiveness seemed to hinge upon the amount of blonde on your head and its ability to properly feather. 

Secondly, Wonder Woman had accessories.  She had a magic lasso and bracelets and that tiara thing on her head, and she was sort of like a feminine version of Captain America.  Plus, she was a princess.  That came with its own set of finery.

Wonder Woman also had a KILLER theme song.  You could just imagine the muses lining up to shout out the funky praises of a warrior goodness.  I’m not going to lie: I used to sing it when I rode my bike around the neighborhood — and I had a Wonder Woman-y bike if ever there was one.  It was called the Star Spangled Banner (seriously, it was on the banana seat) and had red, white and blue streamers on the handlebars.

Last, Wonder Woman was intelligent.  She probably read books whenever she wasn’t being an Amazon Warrior or subjugating evil.  Even in my first decade of life, I could see that she and I would have gotten along famously had she only known to stop down in Florida on her way to Amazon Island.  I could have lent her some of my books.  We’d have been buds.

I miss her.  I’ve seen the newest incarnation of the television icon, and she doesn’t quite do it for me.  Even after they re-designed her outfit, she just fell flat (not her breasts, however, which were perfectly perky and defied gravity… alas, I don’t have THOSE, either).

I wear a Wonder Woman nightshirt to bed at night.  I like to think I get a lot accomplished in the dreams I have on those nights.  It’s good to have a hero.

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Irony: The Word That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Does

When Alanis Morissette released the single “Ironic”, her biggest hit, I groaned aloud.  I continued groaning each year when I started teaching my poetry unit.  Why?  While the song is certainly catchy, it does not contain a single example of irony.  What it does contain is a number of examples of people having Very Bad Days, which is not the same thing.

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So what is irony? It’s when the opposite of what is intented occurs, or the intended meaning is the opposite of what is assumed.  Just because someone is sarcastic does not mean they are speaking ironically, or that there is any irony in what they say. Just because you are surprised about something does not make it ironic.  Just because a bad thing happens, you have not experienced irony, and you can sing about it anyway, but you’re just helping to instill misinformation in the thirsty minds of thousands of people.  What else is new?

“Well,” one might argue, “there’s the example of the guy afraid to fly who finally does, and the plane crashes.”  Wrong.  This isn’t ironic.  It’s perhaps tragic, but not ironic.  What would be ironic is if just as he is about to get on the airplane, they cancel the flight and the man holding a ticket finds himself frustrated that he can’t get on the plane.

She sang, “It’s like rain on your wedding day.”  This isn’t ironic.  This is an argument for indoor venues.  It rained on my wedding day, and I was just waiting for some idiot to start belting out the song (which came out around the same time) so I could belt him.  It would be a him.  My girlfriends had all heard my rant by this point.  Now, if one of them had started singing about rain on my wedding day being ironic… that would, in fact, be ironic.  Why?  Go back to the beginning and reread this blog post if you are still confused.

Ah, well.   There was that one lesson about irony in her song.  Perhaps that was her intention all along — that the song itself contained no irony, and that students all over the world could remember that when working on their literature finals.

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