Tag Archives: vampires

Vampires: I’ll Take Mine Non-Sparkly, Thank You

I can’t help it.  Maybe it’s because I’m an old fart or something.  But even as a little girl waaaay back in the ancient seventies, I had a crush on vampires in general.  I didn’t dream of princes or movie stars or musicians.  The man of my dreams was a dead rich person with a thick, vaguely eastern-European accent, dark hair, and he absolutely did NOT sparkle.

Blame it on Bella Lugosi, on “Love at First Bite”, and every classic vampire costume I’d seen to date.  Blame it on Saturday Scooby Doo (I always rooted for the Vampire).  Blame my love of vampires on that short-lived series of supernatural stories on Wednesday nights, Dark Somethingorother.  Vampires, as far as I was concerned, should be mature dudes who wear black and have some major sun intolerance issues. 

Then Gary Oldman happened.  I fell in LOVE.  Even his creepy old crumpled up Dracula is more sexy to me than Buffy hunks.  Gary Oldman is one extremely hot hunk of burnin’ love.  Minus the creepy Female Denizens of Death he kept around his pad, I could live/die with that dude.  Thinking about his little dark shades and smart blue clothes as he walked around London just makes me all fangirly.

Anyway, on to Sookie Stackhouse and True Bloood.  I’ve seen ONE episode.  One.  I do like the books, but, then, I can imagine a lot.  And while the guy who plays Eric Northman is hot as the sidewalk in summer, he’s at best still only somewhere between Gary and Robert.  Still, he doesn’t sparkle, which can only work to his benefit. 

Poor Robert.  I prefer Pattinson as Cedric Diggory over Edward any day of the week.  What can you do, though?  Vampires are here to stay, even if they are pretty much dead-ish.

I love my old-school vamps best.  Sparkly vampires both bite and suck, I guess.

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