Tag Archives: A-Z

Zephyrhills — The Town With Neither Zephyrs, Nor Hills

How do I know this? It’s just a few miles from my house. It’s a sweet old-fashioned Florida town, the kind we’d often see in the seventies as we drove through the state on vacation. It’s the same place the water’s named for. They really do have some incredible geology that is responsible for the water quality.

However, it’s central Florida, and the truth is that they get few westerly breezes (that’s the Zephyr part). It’s swelteringly hot most of the year, and without a sea breeze, Florida is simply a miserable place to be in the summertime. The other part of the name that throws me is the “hills” bit. The most likely candidate for any hill in the entire city (county, for that matter) is the occasional mound of dirt piled up by the local road crew in their attempts to speed along progress.

So, Zephyrhills, while it produces lovely bottled water and some very cute old Florida photo ops, is fooling you if you are wooed by their empty promises.

However, you probably aren’t. Sweet little town, though.



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eXpletives — Please Keep Your Potty Mouth Away From My Kids

If there’s one thing that will encourage me to open my mouth to a stranger, it’s having them drop an “f”-bomb or some other verbal diarreah in front of my kids.

If it’s not bad enough that their nasty mouths are rude, they usually follow up their swearing by flipping me off afterwards. As a result, my 4-year old knows words she has NEVER heard from us, or on TV or the radio. She’s been in line next to someone who thinks he has every right to shriek, “What the f#ck was that sh!t about?” in front of my kids.

Here’s the thing: you do have a right. You can be a jerk if you want. You have a right to disrespect me and give my kids a wonderful new vocabulary. Your constitutional right to be a twit is protected. However, you aren’t protected from me, and I’m armed with a rather large vocabulary, a lack of diplomacy skills, and a wicked maternal instinct.

And I won’t hold back. I was a teacher. I am very skilled at correcting bad behavior while still being completely pleasant and not breaking rules.

So be aware, potty mouth. Be prepared. MamaBear is not impressed, and her children know the deal: you probably didn’t have a mother like me to lay down the rules. It’s OK. You can learn good behavior from the kids.


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WalMart Launches Cosmetics Line for ‘Tweens

On Febrary 25, Walmart released Geo-Girl, a new cosmetics line aimed at girls 9-to12-years of age. The line includes mascaras, eye shadows, blush, cleansers and lipsticks — and Walmart maintains that it’s all about giving tweens healthy alternatives to other products. The line will fill the void left by the Mary-Kate and Ashley cosmetics line, which suffered a marked enough sales loss that execs consider Geo-Girl a good replacement option that offers young girls the opportunity to learn about beauty in eco-friendly, responsible ways.

Critics argue that encouraging the use of cosmetics, especially by children in this age group, promotes the idea that it is important and desirable to enhance physical beauty, even as pre-teens.

Others consider the products a responsible means to encourage young girls to take care of themselves and practice good personal hygiene.

Read the rest here.


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Vampires: I’ll Take Mine Non-Sparkly, Thank You

I can’t help it.  Maybe it’s because I’m an old fart or something.  But even as a little girl waaaay back in the ancient seventies, I had a crush on vampires in general.  I didn’t dream of princes or movie stars or musicians.  The man of my dreams was a dead rich person with a thick, vaguely eastern-European accent, dark hair, and he absolutely did NOT sparkle.

Blame it on Bella Lugosi, on “Love at First Bite”, and every classic vampire costume I’d seen to date.  Blame it on Saturday Scooby Doo (I always rooted for the Vampire).  Blame my love of vampires on that short-lived series of supernatural stories on Wednesday nights, Dark Somethingorother.  Vampires, as far as I was concerned, should be mature dudes who wear black and have some major sun intolerance issues. 

Then Gary Oldman happened.  I fell in LOVE.  Even his creepy old crumpled up Dracula is more sexy to me than Buffy hunks.  Gary Oldman is one extremely hot hunk of burnin’ love.  Minus the creepy Female Denizens of Death he kept around his pad, I could live/die with that dude.  Thinking about his little dark shades and smart blue clothes as he walked around London just makes me all fangirly.

Anyway, on to Sookie Stackhouse and True Bloood.  I’ve seen ONE episode.  One.  I do like the books, but, then, I can imagine a lot.  And while the guy who plays Eric Northman is hot as the sidewalk in summer, he’s at best still only somewhere between Gary and Robert.  Still, he doesn’t sparkle, which can only work to his benefit. 

Poor Robert.  I prefer Pattinson as Cedric Diggory over Edward any day of the week.  What can you do, though?  Vampires are here to stay, even if they are pretty much dead-ish.

I love my old-school vamps best.  Sparkly vampires both bite and suck, I guess.


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Used Coffee Grounds — Good for Making Things Beautiful!

Bet you didn’t know that.  You may have known they were good for the garden.  But did you know you could use grounds to condition and even color your hair?  Were you aware that used coffee grounds are a fantastic cat repellent for those neighborhood toms who spray in your front yard?  And did you know that used coffee grounds work great to repair and camoflauge all of those little scratches in your wood furniture?

Well, it’s true.  Used coffee grounds do all of those things.  Better yet, even if you don’t drink coffee, you can get free used coffee grounds at your local Starbucks, where they usually keep them packaged and in a bin near the door.

If you’re interested in how to do all of these things, I have instructions listed here.  Drink up!


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