I really, honestly, am not excited about doing this challenge… at least, not right now. But here’s a secret: that makes me determined to do it. Z-A, I’m going to be blogging another month’s worth of flotsam and jetsam from my writing and my life, and it’s going to be very difficult.
I have to tell you, I have some major problems writing sometimes — putting myself out there, I mean. It’s a challenge in more ways than one for me to do this blogging exercise.
I’m incredibly insecure about my ability to communicate. I second guess everything I say. I can think of a hundred reasons not to do this, and only one reason I should… but that one reason is so powerful I can’t back down. I’m doing the blog challenge NOT to get subscribers, or to increase awareness of my blog or writing. I’m doing it because if I can finish it, I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished something that’s not easy, and not convenient.
I’m doing it because I’m scared to do it. And I refuse to let it beat me.
Some days, I honestly would rather not pick up this computer. There are times that the thought of interacting with others, even digitally, terrifies me. When I put my heart out there, it opens me up for criticism, which I’ve never been able to deal with very well.
But last week, I was reminded why it’s important to do and say things that I feel strongly about, even if they aren’t popular: because if I don’t, their voices are the only ones being heard. So, as much as I will admit right here that I’d rather have dental work than commit to another challenge, I’m doing it anyhow. Even if no one read another blog post I wrote, I will know I didn’t let self-doubt and difficulty master me.
See you at “A”.