Z-A Challenge — Why it Scares Me a Little

determination...

image by txpotato

I really, honestly, am not excited about doing this challenge… at least, not right now. But here’s a secret: that makes me determined to do it. Z-A, I’m going to be blogging another month’s worth of flotsam and jetsam from my writing and my life, and it’s going to be very difficult.

I have to tell you, I have some major problems writing sometimes — putting myself out there, I mean. It’s a challenge in more ways than one for me to do this blogging exercise.

I’m incredibly insecure about my ability to communicate. I second guess everything I say. I can think of a hundred reasons not to do this, and only one reason I should… but that one reason is so powerful I can’t back down. I’m doing the blog challenge NOT to get subscribers, or to increase awareness of my blog or writing. I’m doing it because if I can finish it, I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished something that’s not easy, and not convenient.

I’m doing it because I’m scared to do it. And I refuse to let it beat me.

Some days, I honestly would rather not pick up this computer. There are times that the thought of interacting with others, even digitally, terrifies me. When I put my heart out there, it opens me up for criticism, which I’ve never been able to deal with very well.

But last week, I was reminded why it’s important to do and say things that I feel strongly about, even if they aren’t popular: because if I don’t, their voices are the only ones being heard. So, as much as I will admit right here that I’d rather have dental work than commit to another challenge, I’m doing it anyhow. Even if no one read another blog post I wrote, I will know I didn’t let self-doubt and difficulty master me.

See you at “A”.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Z-A Challenge — Why it Scares Me a Little

  1. Oh, how I can identify with this post! You write my words and thoughts.

    Having a voice to share, when I feel as if no one will listen…is hell for me. But by continuing to write–even picking it up again after a 7-month departure from it–reminds me that sharing is when I feel greater connection. I then realize that I am not alone in my feelings.

    Thank you for having the courage to share.

  2. Theresa Leschmann

    I applaud you. What a great reason to take up this challenge. I wish you the best.

  3. Amanda Haury

    You can do it! 🙂

  4. Good for you! (And good for the rest of us, because we get top keep reading you!) :O)

    My A-Z Blogging Reflections Mega Post is here.

    My Z-A Blogging “Z” post is right here.

  5. Have to admit it surprises me to hear you are at all unsure in your ability to communicate. I joined because I got derailed on the A-Z challenge–need to prove I can finish this too, I guess.

  6. It doesn’t help that some fellow writers constantly put down other writers, either by complaining about grammar errors or criticizing content in other ways. Such arrogance annoys the hell out of me, especially given the fact that the writers who put down other writers are NOT perfect. They need to spend more time focusing on their own writing instead of putting down others. My number one suggestion for getting over the fear of sharing your writing and communication is to JUST DO IT. Ignore all the chatter and JUST DO IT. Congratulations on participating in this challenge!

  7. I can relate on the interacting with others. I suffered a bit of burnout last week after the last challenge, so I’m finding myself pushing to do more than basic communications. I do know that it’s the flotsam and jetsam of life that makes most of us interesting, so don’t be afraid to share that. It’s what makes us who we are.

    Stopping by from the Z to A in May Challenge to visit. You can find me at:
    The Frustrated Foodie